Facing life’s challenges requires awareness, finesse, and self-understanding rather than traditional toughness. Here are 10 Ways to Build Mental Toughness Without Being Told to ‘Man Up’.
- Can you get physically stronger without leaving your mental comfort zone?
The body only adapts when it encounters new challenges, which can be uncomfortable,” says fitness expert Ebenezer Samuel, C.S.C.S. This means you can’t stay in your comfort zone. Your mind will adjust to discomfort as well, boosting both mental and physical strength. Start small: “Each week, add one to your goal,” Samuel suggests. “It could be one more pushup per set, an extra minute on your run, or one more second holding a plank.” Mental toughness builds as you embrace each new challenge.
- I hate failing. Is there a way to stop obsessing about mistakes?
Adopt the mindset of Michael Jordan, who sees failure as part of his journey. I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots and lost 26 game-winning opportunities,” Jordan says. “I’ve failed repeatedly, and that’s why I succeed.” Use mistakes as feedback, advises Lisa Stephen, Ph.D., a performance coach at Ignite Peak Performance. “Focus on what to do next instead of dwelling on errors. Visualize letting go of the mistake, like flushing it away or releasing it in a balloon. Concentrating on your worst moments hinders your best performance.”
- Can I eliminate negativity without writing a gratitude list?
Yes, through acts of kindness. “Kindness helps remove jealousy and negativity,” says psychiatrist Tracey Marks, M.D., from Marks Psychiatry in Georgia. Start by complimenting others or giving positive feedback. If you feel extra generous, pay it forward at a café. Generosity activates happiness-related brain regions. If giving frustrates you, think about what you’re grateful for each morning without making a list as one of the ways to build mental grit.
- My workload is overwhelming. How can I avoid burnout without losing my job status?
Learning to say ‘no’ is essential. People often avoid it out of fear of losing opportunities or being seen as uncooperative. “When I say no, my value increases,” says Elizabeth Day, creator of the How to Fail podcast and author of Failosophy. “Respecting yourself leads others to respect you more.” Saying, “I can’t take on another project,” is easier than admitting, “I can’t handle this job anymore.” Prioritizing mental strength is among the 10 Ways to Build Mental Toughness indeed.
- I procrastinate a lot. How can I get motivated?
Forget waiting for the perfect moment to start. The ideal time is now. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, recommends committing to a schedule rather than a deadline. If life disrupts your plans, shorten the task—spend ten minutes instead of 30—but stick to your routine. Don’t give yourself the option to skip it. Developing routines helps build your mental toughness.
- I’m grieving a loved one but need to stay strong for my family. What can I do?
Strength doesn’t mean hiding your emotions. “Real strength is showing your hurt,” says Dr. Marks. “When everyone is grieving, they will look to you as a model. Holding back implies that grief is shameful. Displaying your emotions shows true strength,” and contributes to mental resilience.
- The news upsets and angers me. How do I reset?
It’s normal to feel stressed by the news. Set boundaries on your news intake and discuss it meaningfully with others, advises psychiatrist Gregory Scott Brown, M.D. Calming activities like meditation or watching a light-hearted show can help. Engage in active discussions instead of passive consumption. Talking about issues like Black Lives Matter with others can alleviate feelings of powerlessness. “Engagement leads to connection, making it easier to know what actions to take,” says Eugene Ellis, founder of the Black, African, and Asian Therapy Network. This engagement also helps build mental strength.
- I’m training for an ultramarathon. Is it really mind over muscle?
“Ultramarathons are about 90 percent mental and 10 percent physical,” says endurance runner Michael Wardian. “You need a strong reason to keep going, whether it’s for your kids, proving something to yourself, or another personal motivation.” Set small goals to keep yourself going, such as reaching the next landmark or aid station. Embrace discomfort to build mental strength, whether it’s getting up early or completing everyday tasks. This endurance builds mental toughness.
- I can’t meditate. Is there another way to reduce stress?
“Yoga is a great way to de-stress if you can’t meditate,” says Dr. Marks. It combines breathing focus with stretching, which can relax your body. Flexibility isn’t required, and many online classes cater to different needs. Try platforms like Alo Moves or Apple Fitness+ for varied yoga sessions, contributing to mental grit. Although meditation is worth trying, apps like Calm, Headspace, or Ten Percent Happier can make it more engaging.
- What should I say to someone who tells me to “man up”?
Respond by explaining that mental toughness isn’t about suppressing emotions or pretending to be invincible. “Building mental strength involves understanding and managing feelings, and pushing through challenges with resilience and self-awareness,” you could say. This shifts the focus from outdated stereotypes to a healthier, more realistic approach to mental toughness. Embracing these concepts is one of the ways to expand mental resilience.
